I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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