So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I love you. Go after that dick
Randomize
