I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
they need to just BURY HIM!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
