Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize