I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
