You really coming over, don't trick.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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