fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
