so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
