My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
