if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
