don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
