I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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