Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
