Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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