just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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