I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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