There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
