: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I deserve this hangover.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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