If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
