Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
dude. I can hear the air.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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