I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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