So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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