dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize