Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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