Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
