I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
organizing the empties. That sober.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
