i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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