You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
