if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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