New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize