good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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