this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
He felt like a one man threesome
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
