It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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