You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
