He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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