Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
