So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
