why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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