Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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