I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
