You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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