I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
