For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
