I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
