Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
