This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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