dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
