Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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