Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
