I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize