i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
