It's like God shit irony all over that family
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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