I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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