it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
