Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
