And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
