That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Hippo gnu deer
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
