You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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