He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Randomize
