Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
