Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
