its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Randomize
