marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
