My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
