We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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