Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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