i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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