the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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