i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
