Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
