i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
