Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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