you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
