Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize
