is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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