I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
