well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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