Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I AM VODKA MAN
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I want a musical about memes.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
