dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Bring me that man meat
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
