No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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