i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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