I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
