When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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