All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
